


Sayori - Depression

by Delly_WithAPen



Series: Mental [2]
Category: Doki Doki Literature Club! (Visual Novel)
Genre: Depression, Inner Dialogue, POV First Person, Relationship Advice, Self-Esteem Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-02
Updated: 2020-02-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:49:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22533526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Delly_WithAPen/pseuds/Delly_WithAPen
Summary: A glimpse into the mind of Sayori, unnoticed by her friends as she gives away another bottle of Happy Thoughts, Happy Thoughts, Happy Thoughts.
Relationships: Natsuki/Yuri (Doki Doki Literature Club!)
Series: Mental [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1615645
Comments: 1
Kudos: 6





	Sayori - Depression

My heart leaped out of my chest when the violent screech of my alarm clock broke through my dreams. I kicked at the covers trapping my legs and stretch an arm to press the alarm off, before my wakefulness faded, and I dropped back onto the soft pillow. The air was uncomfortably cold beyond my blankets, making me pull them up to my chin as I reached for my phone. I already knew the time--6:30--but something compelled me to check anyway.  


I narrowed my eyes, “It’s Saturday?”  


That’s right. Monika told us all to have a good weekend yesterday, after the club meeting ended. A part of me was annoyed at myself for forgetting to turn off the alarm last night, and another part of me was just relieved to not have to go to school. I slid my phone under my pillow and turned to lie on my side, closing my eyes to sleep the morning away. I woke up a couple hours later to my phone buzzing next to me. I blinked at the bright screen to see Natsuki’s name, so I swiped the button to answer.  


“Hello?” God, my voice sounded so tired. I hoped she didn’t notice.  


“Hey! Are you free today?”  


I swallowed a pool of spit forming in the back of my throat. Clearly, I just woke up, so she probably already knew I had no plans. Which means I should tell the truth.  


“Hello? Are you still there?” she asked. Shoot, I didn’t answer yet.  


“Yeah, yeah! I’m, um, sorry I… I just woke up,” I stumbled through my words, feeling like an idiot, “I don’t have anything going on right now. Why?”  


“Can I come over? I need advice about something.”  


Gaining a bit of energy, I decided to tease her, “Ooh, could it be about how you practically drool over Yuri whenever she reads your poems?”  


“What?! I do NOT do that!” her voice bit at my ear through the receiver. It was always easy to tease Natsuki, especially about her crush.  


“So, what IS it about, then, if she’s not involved.”  


There was a huff on the other end, “Well, I didn’t say it wasn’t about her, just that I don’t act like you described me!”  


“Yeah, okay~” I laughed.  


“Whatever! Can I come or not?!”  


“Yeah, I just need to get out of bed,” I pushed myself up and scooted my legs over until they dangled from the mattress, “Are you bringing anything?”  


“Uh, I don’t have enough ingredients from last time,” she mumbled. A spike of guilt pierced my chest, remembering all of the times I asked Natsuki to bake for the club, and then ate the most of her treats. I was always the one to ask her, but I’ve never even helped.  


“Hey, come on, Sayori! It’s not a big deal! My dad’ll just get more tomorrow,” she reassured me. How could I be so obvious over the phone?  


I laughed it off, “Yeah, okay! So, when are you coming over?”  


“I’m almost to your house right now, actually.”  


“WHAT?!” I scrambled out of my bed and stumbled through my room, throwing the door open and running down the stairs. The wood creaked under my weight--am I getting fat?  


“Is this a bad time? You said you just needed to get outta bed,” Natsuki’s words just made me feel more guilty. I couldn’t waste her time by being a lazy pig. She came to ME for help, and I’m going to do whatever it takes to make up for all of the cupcakes I shamelessly gorged on.  


“NO! No, I’m up.”  


“Okay, ‘cause I’m right outside,” she said, “Gonna hang up now.”  


“Yeah,” I ended the call and threw open my front door. Natsuki smiled nervously, her hands deep shoved in her coat pockets. I forced a wide grin and waved. It seemed to have worked, because she looked more comfortable as she hopped up the porch steps.  


“Hey,” she patted my shoulder, “You’re a lifesaver. I just have NO idea what to do.”  


My smile eased into genuine happiness, and I led her to the living room, “About what?”  


“So, it’s almost February, and I want to do something for Valentine’s Day, but like, small enough so that if she rejects me, it wouldn’t be so bad.”  


“Why would she reject you?” my brows knitted. Yuri obviously liked her back, but telling Natsuki might get her to hate me. I’d already put her through enough anxiety.  


She worried at her lip, “Because, I mean, look at me. I’m short, and I’m rude, and I’m not smart like she is. Yuri probably wants someone that can at least keep up with her tangents!”  


“Natsuki,” I pulled up my knees and hugged them close to my chest, “why does Yuri keep going on her tangents to you?”  


“‘Cause she doesn’t know that I’m a total dumbass yet,” she mumbled bitterly. I hated hearing her trash-talk herself like this. She was so cute, and funny, and talented, and not dumb at all! Alright, it was time for some good ol’ reverse psychology.  


“You must be doing something right to trick her into believing you listen, though,” I used my ‘innocent voice’.  


“Well, I like hearing her speak when she’s passionate, and excited,” she smiled at the floor.  


“I’d say as long as she thinks you care about what she says, you-”  


“Wait, wait, wait, I DO care about what she says! That’s why I hate that I can’t understand most of it!”  


She fell right into my trap.  


“Isn’t that enough to her, then? Remember, Natsuki, Yuri didn’t have any friends before the club, and even now, it’s just us. I think just being listened to like you do is something she really cherishes,” I felt kind of proud of myself when I saw the glint of realization flash through her eyes.  


“But, she still deserves better…” she twirled a strand of pink hair around her finger. Dang it, I really thought that cool line would have snapped her out of this funk.  


“Then, you should talk to her about explaining some of the things she says,” I didn’t know any other advice to offer, “Trust me, she already appreciates you! All you have to do is keep being yourself like always.”  


“I… I guess so,” she stood up from the couch, “Thanks, Sayori. You really helped me out.”  


“Yeah, no problem!” I hoped she would stay a little longer with me, but I didn’t want to say it. That would sound too clingy, wouldn’t it? Besides, she only came here for Yuri, so there was no point in staying. I walked her to the front door and locked it behind her, exhausted from just a few minutes of talking. So pathetic. I trotted back up the stairs and draped my body over the bed, flipping the covers back over my fat, pale, ugly body and fell back to sleep. I didn’t want to be awake anymore.


End file.
